In order to learn French phrases, obviously, I need to buy single items that say a French phrase. This is the only solution.
For this new approach to language learning, I have decided to buy items from Second Chic, a consignment store in Buffalo, created by Annie Adams. I am a regular patron of Second Chic. I both buy and sell items here. If you are from out of town, you should visit this store because Buffalonians have the best style out of everyone in the world.
We have this gritty, rusted, unique look. You might see an attractive person wearing a turtleneck with jean shorts and high heels. Or a rebel type wearing ripped jeans with hot pink leggings underneath. Or a svelte man with a bike cap on and J.Crew shorts. Or a different svelte man with an asymmetrical haircut and clear glasses. You won’t be able to predict the style, or where they get their clothes or what their job is. Some of them might be lawyers. Some of them might be mechanics. You have no idea. But, a lot of people sell really awesome clothes at Second Chic, so the pickings are fine, mon amour.
So, today, clearly, the phrase that I wanted to learn was “an afternoon of the dog.” I have already learned “temps de chien” which means rotten weather. But, now I needed to know this phrase for when I am either:
- eating lunch with a dog
- eating a dog for lunch
- thinking of changing the Chinese calendar to notate half days. Comme . . .”It’s not the year of the rat, it’s the afternoon of the dog!”
Yes. I needed to know this. So, I found an awesome small purse with this phrase on it. I am going to British Columbia next week and will wear a small purse when I’m traveling so as to avoid thievery. Normally, I would wear a giant Hermes-Coach hybrid bag, but, you know, as mentioned, I don’t have a job and am currently living out of that bag.
However, there may be some holes in this plan. Or, as I like to say, this could be an afternoon of the dog. Because, now thieves will see that this purse was made in France and they’ll probably mug me. As everyone knows, everything in France is much more valuable, so it is a travel danger. One time I was mugged and Vincent was stolen from me, just because he was made in France! Oh la vache. I can never win. Good thing my fighting skills are top notch. I am have been preparing to be mugged for weeks via youtube videos. Maple syrup eating, mountain hiking Canadians are relentless. You can never be too prepared. They might try to gag you with a Roots sweatshirt.
Additionally, I found some other French words around the store, like this wine artifact that said Bordeaux on it. Francophiles are everywhere! I quickly looked to see if there was any wine left from 1831, but alas there was not. Yet, there was a postage stamp on it? Maybe it had gotten lost in transport. Lucky post people. They have got it all figured out. I truly believe this. In researching jobs, I believe post people have the best job in the world. They get to be outside, in communities, walking around, maybe getting to listen to podcasts. They are the mothers and fathers of hundreds of children because of illicit postal affairs. Gosh. Lucky sons of guns. I should mug them.
Well, that concludes this episode of “ECO-CONSUMERIST APPROACHES TO LEARNING LANGUAGES.” I hope you’ll join me next week when we talk about buying Chinese take out boxes to learn Chinese. Bonne semaine, guys.
Useful French things: